Advantages of Modern Life

Every day is fraught with danger. You wake in the morning, rush to the window and take a deep breath. Hasn’t anyone told you about the air being polluted with lead from petrol? Next you go to the bathroom. After touching the lavatory handle, your innocent-looking hands are covered in bacteria, which even a good wash won’t entirely remove. You sight, and get dressed. Good heavens! Didn’t you realize that all that nylon won’t let your skin breathe?
With a rash beginning to appear on your skin, you make your way to the kitchen for breakfast. Eating must be good for you- mustn’t it? Of course it is, provided you don’t have tea or coffee, which are bad for your heart, or a good old-fashioned English fry-up, which will fill your stomach with cholesterol-building fat.
Depressed you go to clean your teeth. Put down that nylon toothbrush at once! It will ruin your gums. Do you have the courage to weigh yourself? Horrors! You’re at least half a stone overweight, which is sure to help send you to an early grave.
Hesitating, you make your way to the car, knowing that there’s a good chance that either you or one of your nearest and dearest will be involved in an accident sometimes during your life. After a heart-thumping journey, you reach work.
Filled with relief you get into the lift. Get out at once and race up those stairs, unless you want a heart attack tomorrow. …