The Way Jonathon Swift Addressed the Issue of Overpopulation in Ireland

A Modest Proposal
I, along with many others, venture into many public places on a daily basis, it is in these public settings that I have noticed the constant affection displayed by many couples, couples who seem to be under the misconception that they are truly in love with the person they are with. I find that these public displays of affection are most commonly sighted in high schools.
It is my belief that no one will object when I state that it is an extremely annoying inconvenience to be stuck behind two "lovers" who appear to be residing on cloud nine as they saunter slowly down a narrow school hallway, gazing lovingly into one another's eyes and holding hands, thus taking up far more space in the hallway than is necessary for two people, slowing foot traffic and disgusting those who are walking solo through the hallways with only one goal, to make it to class before the tardy bell chimes. Being stuck behind one of these revolting couples has proved to be detrimental to one's perfect attendance record.
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