A Made-up Dispute between Hephaestus & Aphrodite

As Hephaestus was walking down Rhea Street on Mount Olympus, he noticed his wife, Aphrodite, kissing Hermes, the messenger-God, next to the area's one and only Burger God (very well-known for its char-broiled Whoppers).
'Wait just a tootin' minute,' he said aloud to himself. 'Why is my wife kissing Hermes? She is supposed to be devoted to me!' He was furious. It was very rare when Hephaestus became angry for any reason, so he was certain to have taken notice of his odd and unusual reaction. 'I must settle this like a calm, rational person,' he told himself at last.…